one more year.

I'm here now, ain't that something? And many say that's all that matters. If it were only that easy, just being present doesn't cut it anymore, and that's all I am: I'm here bringing nothing to the table, watching everyone struggle and I can't help, watching the green monster be the source of all these problem and the only one who can save us from it all. I wish I was in a position to call the shots, somehow have a way to say "look what I did for you" in concrete form. One more year passes and I'm still laying when I should be up and about. One more year where I wait for the day to come and be thankful for something I don't deserve. Can we skip over this month? Just this year?

much to do about nothing

She walks: decent, elegant, different from all the rest. She is that flower that blooms and that one can't keep their eyes off. She is the wind that blows softly through the cracks of the window on a spring night. She stares: blankly and one can't figure out why she does what she does. Maybe she has done too much or way too little, maybe her competition is staring at her right in the face or she might think it is. She is disabled from the lack of courage she witholds in her body. She makes everything and everyone thecause of her future and forgets she is the Creator. She has marked soles from walking to much just to make appointments that have much to do about everyone else but her, she loves and she cares just to be ripped away from it all when everything changes. She knows she shouldn't dwell when there is much to be done and yet that frown appears upon her face unknowingly. She is forever faithful to the roots in which she spurred from and becomes loyal to her new found love. Who is she? She is the one that's crying out for help and understanding because she can't speak what is clearly being shown

vital

minuscule statements left to be pondered on. breathe life into me; i beg of you.
stimulate my senses and touch me cosmically.
i am your follower because my heart takes no notice of any other leader. the pounds in my stomach are the knots untwisting..shaping into your name, and i add my self into the equation hoping I'm not the X. tell me your story and i will write it down and paint pictures of the next few pages. ill be the avid reader and sign "true fan" by your chest at the end of each journey.

PUSH

sincerity is hard to come by, with piercing lies that sting worse than third degree burns; i still stay cool. my mind retracts severely with strange thoughts that were long gone or so thought to be. i have prayed for a better tomorrow and have got it but i feel a force come over me i can not ignore. "spite me O' mighty spite-r" your sick twisted games navigating through my mind and i once again feel the definition of isolation; he stares me down and laughs in my face as i curl into my corner again. finally here comes an angel that arrives upon my shoulder and picks up my collar and i float along with it, it is now where i view the arms of warmth and then i can be convinced once more that i am not alone, that i am not a light feather being driven by the wind, i am not one to be put away momentarily while you go gallivanting. the mind is what spites me.

time

time hurts
time heals
time stresses
time is here, gone, and coming
time never leaves you like everyone else
cold, distraught.
time continues even when you have stopped
time views linear while we view circular
time creates you or destroy you with no intention of doing so
time is what you would've taken to understand how it hurts and why you heal and what stresses you so that way time can make you see.

playful

i have given something of myself, my world is in your soul and i play like a child; twirling i go. i jump into the pool of your heart and splash my love all over your body. i sing lyrics meant for the masses when in reality they are from me to you. your smile reminds me of all the great games i once played, it is innocent and painless when i look at you. i can feel my hands producing warmth in yours as you laugh so brightly. we play in this game so easily as we embrace.

A blur

Blind eyes need not to open but a blind heart does.
Blisters too hurtful to mend with a "it'll be alright".
Explanations cut short due to lack of expression, single mindedly destroying all the good you can own.
Good care is receive in return of security, embrace that open heart and let it see, nurture it's senses back to health with clarity. It screams out polluted visions of a forgotten warrior of love.
Honesty comes fridgid and packaged tight with delayed shipping but it will arrive.
Spirit wakens knowing there is nothing to fear if another heart is near.

Tonight

Inhibitions at the door, eyes wide open and also the mind: "this is happening"
Hold your heart tight with spilling feelings and try covering the trail your leaving. Tonight you are mine as I am yours; tonight no interaction can be greater than our fingertips touching. Sheets rustling drops of sweat down our backs, eyes filled with nothing but pure passion; the kind only seen in every love story. Tonight we join the great classics.

You

And it's you; you who has turned my solid exterior into a clear vase. Suppression did not reign my world after your arrival neither did discomfort. Take my hand and lead me through your path; keep me safe with your warm hugs and you brown eyes; hold my soul deep within yours and when the moon appears let us escape to the brightest star. We can watch the world together; the world we ruled.

A strange familiar

A stranger with hopeless dreams of becoming your familiar. Seems as days goes by no one knows the power of time. Next stop is interaction; liberate your ignorance and learn a new face and no more is that stranger unknown. They become your gem, someone you think only you know; the closeness is deep , feel the fire in your words and the coolness of their reactions sooth you; nothing to fear now because you know too much; a stranger no longer unknown. Announce yourself capable of connecting, though time endowed you that capability. Smiles, hugs, kisses, and looks penetrating your inner joy, you can't go back now; you can't not know them anymore ; a wonderful phenomenon of life: maybe we all know each other too well.

Come back

I need you back; like a ghost needs it's body.
I want you so close to me I can feel you move every muscle in me. Nothing makes sense if I can't have piece of mind with you; no kindness can mend the heartache I would feel if you were to leave me. I have shocked my mind into a state of illusion where nothing is what it was. Misplaced trust and knocked down dreams all on the floor like a messy room. Young are we but are souls are old and are meant to grow even older together. I need you back; but you have not gone anywhere. You have stayed patiently waiting holding your ground and proving me wrong every time; you won't leave because you know I'll be back.

Some things happen

I could tell you stories, of princes meeting the perfect woman and having a white wedding
I can tell you about the birds and the bees
I can draw you figures that would make you smile
but I can never show you what you love
and I can't choose them either
but I can tell when some things happen;
everything makes sense.

Whiskey dreams

Tranquil
never speaks back or critisizes you
it sits in a cup watching intently
pick it up; a staring contest
the sip is strong but warm like an embrace
throw the glass and it all splatters
liquid love is no more
shiny glass watchin you now
pity the heart that wishes for whiskey dreams.

Lit candles

Fire burns, and thoughts sting; penatrating the only air you got left and then silence, but the fire keeps burning.
Black tuxedos and white dresses; a veil she barely deserves cause there is nothing left to hide; he "knows it all"
visions blurry but with adjustments we can see the ring marks but no ring; not one of two.
Phone calls steady but not correct and it still continues to be "ok"
patiently waiting and the fire still burns
the thoughts sting harder when the fire means everything; feeling each burn harder with every word
hot candle wax dripping on the sides and the inside still burning but yet; solid
can't get through; cause I deserve that veil on my face.

Split

Drip •• drop
jumbled brain and somber soul
speak with meaning but mean a whole new meaning
________________________________

slip •• trip
walk the distance
embrace what could be yours and smile brightly at the scenery
the sun shines bright even when it's spliting
even the moon makes you gasp when it's half there.
________________________________

waltz •• halt
mirrors only show you so much
creativity stands grounds even earthquakes can't shake
and suddenly waking up splits your dreams
but faith splits those pestering wakes of a jumbled brain and somber soul.

Al naturale'

Blank slate sitting by a windowsill, look closely and see your young self.
All pure and innocent as intended by a powerful source; everything is alright now.
Watch the smiles and the glimmer in your eyes; watch happiness in simplistic forms
traits so real and original with painted glory in every blink
what makes you special is what has always been natural.

LIFE

Silly game with no rules
the only limitations there are the ones created by each one of us
I moved my piece and rolled my dice
now to watch the result
I flip the cards and get a " two moves back"
and I hesitate but do it anyways.
Keep rolling till the last roll;
cause now it's your turn once more.

Ghost

Trip and fall
boxed in ---limbo
waiting
a mission too complex
where to go?
Fall once more
see-through mind
chance of cloudiness
and yet youth=the answer
smiles at the kicking and mumbling
sans difficulty
truly a blessing
tranquilty with limits
but no more is that yours
ghost is the past
humble is ghost
that lingers in the heart and soul.